Elaina had been in a mostly good mood lately, she had gotten to lead some projects at work, and finally was feeling excited about things again. Not everything was perfect though, her boss was still stepping on her toes on an almost daily basis. Not only that but the mayor’s office seemed reluctant to get some of the ideas they had agreed on started. It was frustrating and put a damper on her new found enthusiasm, but on the whole, she could feel the new possibilities and excitement that had come with the whole new leaf kick she was on.
Despite the fact that it was Saturday, she wanted to continue the productivity from the week. She has some massive grant application to fill out for Yelsnag park and wanted to get a head start so they were ready to submit by Monday. Back when she was living and working in New York she would frequently go to work in the library and when she first had arrived in Pointe Place it had been a popular spot for her as well. She decided to get out of her apartment coffee shop usual working spots and backed her laptop and headed to the library.
When she got to the library it was shockingly crowded, this is weird she thought to herself. She looked around and saw a few giant TED signs and a crowd of people heading into the main atrium. She had work to do, but this seemed like something she should check out, she let the crowd carry her inside and took a seat.
The speaker turned out to be Ryan Lochte, not the most exciting to Elaina. The swimmer had had a couple falls from grace and now he seemed to really have gone astray given that he was at a tiny TED conference in a tiny town, insignificant to say the least.
He started talking and talking and talking, and Elaine found herself zoning in and out of the discussion. At one of the moments where she was actually tuning in, she heard something that was kind of interesting.
“Here’s the thing guys, even if you are a titan of your field, people fall off the path all the time, but you know what you gotta do, you just have to keep moving, keep doing stuff, it doesn’t matter what stuff, but you just have to keep doing something.”
That’s actually a good point Elaina started thinking. She kept listening.
“I mean you can take that from me look at my story, I never stop doing stuff, I’m a prime example of this, and look at how successful I’ve been, a much more American swimmer than some other people.”
And there it goes though Elaina, she let herself zone out again.
“Not everything was perfect though, her boss was still stepping on her toes on an almost daily basis.”
ReplyDelete“Here’s the thing guys, even if you are a titan of your field, people fall off the path all the time, but you know what you gotta do, you just have to keep moving, keep doing stuff, it doesn’t matter what stuff, but you just have to keep doing something.”
Questions:
What does your character want (their goal)?
What were the reasons for your character’s move to Pointe Place (did something bad happen)?
Something to clarify: Talk more about this “new leaf kick” she was on and what it spawns from. Basically what made her have this change.
Suggestions: Give more details about her internal emotions and how she is feeling. Possibly add more dialogue.
“Not everything was perfect though, her boss was still stepping on her toes on an almost daily basis.”
ReplyDelete“Here’s the thing guys, even if you are a titan of your field, people fall off the path all the time, but you know what you gotta do, you just have to keep moving, keep doing stuff, it doesn’t matter what stuff, but you just have to keep doing something.”
Questions:
What does your character want (their goal)?
What were the reasons for your character’s move to Pointe Place (did something bad happen)?
Something to clarify: Talk more about this “new leaf kick” she was on and what it spawns from. Basically what made her have this change.
Suggestions: Give more details about her internal emotions and how she is feeling. Possibly add more dialogue.
“Here’s the thing guys, even if you are a titan of your field, people fall off the path all the time, but you know what you gotta do, you just have to keep moving, keep doing stuff, it doesn’t matter what stuff, but you just have to keep doing something.”
ReplyDeleteQuestions: How will this change your story? What new thing will it bring?
Clarification: What kind of projects is she working on?
Suggestions: She didn't really interact with anyone, which is kind of boring. Add some kind of interaction (dialogue, nonverbal, idk).